The loss of a second and possibly third place.

Ever since I left Seattle and my bookstore job I have missed it all quite terribly. I knew I would miss Washington and a lot of its inhabitants, but quite honestly I never really expected to miss the drama and stress of working retail. I do though and every time I look through the website of said former employer I wish I still had a place on the staff picks page. I love being apart of a team and I also really love getting recognition for being on said team. Since I feel so dejected not being on their staff picks page I decided to replicate what would have been found about me on the page.

So here it is...


Kim
Kim is a fun-loving leo who loves to chat and can sometimes be a bit garrulous. She is passionate talking about theology, Lady Gaga, her cats Kerouac and Cassady, gossip magazines, all things California, and teenage dramas found in all facets of the media. She reads ya fiction, historical fiction, memoirs, and chick lit.



If you want to know more about my actual feelings on books check out my good-reads account.

and as Ringo Starr would say "Peace".

Craigslist

Conan O'Brien's latest attempts to sell himself and the Tonight Show on craigslist has brought me back to my days of looking at the weird and irksome ads of craigslist.
I had a trouble locating the real Conan ads, but instead found a ton of other interesting things. It really amazes me what people will put up there, and how much people are really willing to share with complete strangers.
Like I found this one in missed connections that was titled "Missing: Mother of my Children". It was a deep, sorrowful letter to a man's currently separated wife, with an ending paragraph that was extremely angry and threatening to some guy named Mike Wilder, I think. Names aren't really important are they? Anyway, I was just amazed that someone felt comfortable to just send that out into the universe.
The next ad I found was a m4w ad that was from two guys (one black and one white) who wanted to offer some ladies a good time. They claimed their ad was better than other ads because you didn't need to choose between white or black, you could have both. I mean come on ladies if that isn't a deal I don't know what really is. But if that wasn't enough of a deal clincher they also included photos of both of their penises. This then reminded me why I do not try and find men on Craigslist.
Another one of my favorites was the "Pussy Eating" ad. Honestly it was just a photo of a creepy older gentlemen, who was rocking a pony-tail but was balding on the top, with the words "I like to eat pussy. No need to return the favor just be natural and hairy." Needless to say, I was utterly disturbed.
After encountering that gem I then found the strictly platonic section. Immediately I had forgotten all of the creepers I had found on this site and was excited about finding a new friend. There were a few ads I was interested in. "Yes I would love to go see a movie with you once a week"... "Of course we can be workout buddies"..."How could I possibly ever pass up a crazy cat lady play date with you"... "Yes I am an entertaining, yet laid back girl." But then all the creepiness came rushing back to me, and I quickly abandoned the idea of meeting perfect strangers who wanted to quickly become my very best friend.
Back to mourning the loss of my bedtime buddy Conan, and prepping for the GRE. Maybe I'll even give my real friends a call to remind me I don't need Craigslist to make friends.

The Whachamacalit

Every morning is the same.
I feel the sun on my face and wake up alone. I take a deep breath, wonder how I got here, and close my eyes again.
Five minutes later I open my eyes and force myself to get out of bed.
It's hard to get out of bed when you have no where to go and no one depending upon you. The cats don't even depend on me anymore. They just sleep with me and silently pray that they'll get fed that day.
I get terrified when the phone rings or there's a knock at the door. I lock myself up tight in here. I sleep with a bat by my bed and leave the TV on all night listening to the Tanner family deal with the pressing family issues of the 80's. My Dad thinks I should get a gun, and learn how to use it. I'm pretty sure that in the heat of the moment I would forget how to use said gun and probably shoot a cat. I want to get a dog, but then I would be the weird, lonely, "Full House" girl living with two cats and a dog. I would officially live in a zoo. A melancholy, hungry, and disconnected zoo.
I make coffee everyday and try to feel alive.
I look for work, study for the GRE's, attend to the cats, and hope tomorrow will be better.
Maybe tomorrow a friend will call, or maybe tomorrow I'll wake up next to Eric.
Perhaps tomorrow, I won't regret so many decisions in my life and actually be excited about what the future holds.
Maybe, tomorrow, I'll wake up and have my old life back. This all would have just been a dream a la "Groundhog Day", and my face would still be smiling back at me on the staff picks page.
Maybe tomorrow this crushing feeling in my chest would finally disappear, and the endless tears would stop falling.
Perhaps, tomorrow morning won't be the same as all the rest.